If The Shoe Fits Wear It, And Then Perhaps Take a Snapshot to Remember and Never Forget

I love this pic yet was never sure if I would use it, but never forgot it and I remembered when I saw the shoes that perhaps...just for today it's a good fit as I remember some snapshots of another significant event that happened on 9-11...perhaps more pleasant memories to never forget.

Yes, today is 9-11 and I have not forgotten its significance nor am I not remembering the tragic events of that day.  However, for me to write about it would be redundant as I have a chapter devoted to the fall of the Twin Towers and all the related events in 2001 in the book, The Power of Surrender, focused on the effects on children exposed to tragedy, shock, trauma and how some remember and how some forget and how sometimes even when we see the same things as children our perceptions, attitudes, and memories can become remarkably different.  Even with a "snapshot" or two our reactions and memories become distorted due to what was felt in the uniqueness of our souls.  For we each find a pair of shoes that seem to fit and walk our path not sure of our destiny but willing to wear it, and as each event occurs in our life it seems some last excrutiatingly long and lasting forever and in the flash of the shutter....in a snapshot, these endless moments somehow transform to be brief snapshots in time and in a blink we no longer have a need for shoes.  We are Home.  We leave the snapshots behind to nurture the souls of our friends and families for which perhaps we are just as big of a hero in their eyes and souls as those fallen heros of 9-11 that we will never forget amidst the haunting tragedies and daunting moments of unbridled heroism.  For me, just for today, I am thinking of another event that occurred on 9-11 in 1942.  I was not there, perhaps I was Home, perhaps somewhere else but that's not the shoes for which I write today nor the snapshot.  In fact, it's not about anyone famous, or that you know about, or for that matter someone the "average Joe" would consider a hero unless of course you were his child, his wife, a friend, or a member of his family - which gets me to thinking....which I often do....

It gets me to thinking of how many times since I have wore my shoes (or should I say sandals!!) since I moved to the desert and the valley of the warm sun and starry nights, Landon's Light has clearly shown me reasons that what I felt I needed to do in coming here has been validated.  Examples too many to enumerate but for example just a few for today and immediately upon my arrival and one in particular before my move.  There was the installer from Direct TV who shared with me his wife had a brain tumor, he has four kids, and his struggle of discovering on Mother's Day a few days before she had an affair and he was dealing with not knowing if it was directly related to the tumor or not.  There was the installer for my internet for which I need to reach you, who was better than me because he has six stents in his heart while I only have two and we talked about being grateful for each moment and each breath.  There was the painter who I hired to paint my condo, who he himself and his wife are very familiar with a Power greater than themselves and the need to have this Power every day of their lives and for which we shared our stories and for which I gave him my card for this site, and for which we agreed we are both grateful for all of our memories and snapshots - good and bad.  These but a few, but these were strangers, one was closer to home, with more snapshots, more memories and he filled some pretty big shoes - he had big feet!!  And a big heart!!  And his soul was soon to go Home and today is his birthday.  Today is 9-11 and if he were still here with us we could celebrate is 73rd birthday with perhaps a game of snooker or 8 ball and for sure a Pepsi.  HIs name is Bob.  My name is Mick.  Bob went home on August 14th, 2014.  Gone but not forgotten and there is no one to fill his shoes for my sister his wife, his three kids my nephews and niece and hundreds of other family and friend for which at one time or another he felt like a hero.  For me, the brother I never had, and for which on August 14th on Facebook the same week we lost Robin Williams who was a known hero to millions all over the world - I posted the following:

 

"It seems this week everytime I checked Facebook I was reading about some great people we have all lost that enriched our lives and entertained us despite whatever unknown difficulties they were facing. These people had gained world wide love and respect for what they did best and for many of us earned our love and admiration. This morning is no different, and I am saddened by the loss of the broth...er I never had, who became my brother and friend. And I am reminded that the measure of greatness and strength is not if we are loved and known worldwide, it is if we are loved, known, cared for, respected and cherished in our own world. The world that matters, that of our family and friends, that are the most important part of our journey. All of us that knew Bob had a friend who touched their lives and certainly at some point made them laugh, his middle name should have been prankster - damn he was good!!....and even more so for his wife, children, grand-childen, and great grand-children to them the best!!
For me, I would never have learned what a "Hurts Donut" is, a "Noogie", or probably most importantly when he first came into my life around the age of nine that it was not in my best interests to pursue my dream of being the next heavyweight boxing champion of the world - the man could pack a punch!!
Lastly, as he lived life, tough as nails and always the fighter and never the quitter, Robert L Mueller fought cancer to the final bell like the true champion that he was and is - in his world, my world, and for those of us who knew and loved him today our world is a little less brighter but I will take comfort as will we all that Bob is packing a punch like never before and will be ALWAYS watching out and protecting those of us who loved him especially his wife - my sis, Scott, Mark, and my favorite niece Michelle - love you all. Thanks for the ride Bob, you will be missed dearly, fly high brother!!!.... no more pain only eternal peace till we meet again...."
 
Which gets me to thinking which I often do....Bob fought cancer for four years, around two years ago he was diagnosed with Stage IV tongue and throat cancer and he beat it.  When I was feeling and following Landon's Light and came to visit back in February, him and my sis picked me up at the airport.  They had just come from a visit to the Doc, it was possible the cancer was back.  I left a week later, the next day it was confirmed it was indeed back.  Another reason, perhaps just for today, for me to be right where I am as I have always needed to be in order to get to where I am today, whether wearing shoes or sandals, and taking snapshots and having an attitude of gratitude for the memories I can choose to remember and those for which I can choose to try and forget.  Which gets me to thinking....which I often do.
 
Last night I went to a Rock and Roll Show, they do a lot of this here where I live in Sun City, in the desert.  It was free so nothing to lose.  It was 50's and 60's music, mostly 50's and I wish I could say it was all before my time.  I like to think of myself more as a "child of the 60's" which I am but due to the fact I have an older sister and in part her relationship with Bob I have to be honest and admit - I knew all the words to all the songs.  There was the day the music died, when we lost The Big Bopper, Richie Valens, and of course Buddy Holly.  I have a snapshot in my mind of that day in which my sister came running out of her room crying and in hysterics.  It was compounded by the fact the plane crash that took their lives, but not their music or should I say their souls which live on today through their music, was in my native Iowa in the ice, cold, and snow of winter.  There were many more tributes, old film of Dick Clark and Wolfman Jack, many snapshots.  One of which was the leader of the band talking about the fashion of the 50's, including Poodle dresses  and bobby sox and pony tails for the girls and white t-shirts, jeans, boots, rolled up short sleeve with the pack of smokes on the bicep and of course The DA haircut all greased up and slicked back with Brylcreem for the guys.  Lots of snapshots, lots of memories, most very pleasant.  And of course what "concert" or "show" of the 50s would be complete without a tribute to the King, Elvis himself and his Blue Suede Shoes.  And I thought about Bob and what I wrote above on the day he went Home.  When I first met him, I was about nine, still a kid.  He was this guy with the rolled up t-shirt and a pack of smokes from the tough part of town, with a big heart, a big smile, and a great sense of humor.  The brother I never had and I choose this snapshot to remember and not forget.  One in which his kids never knew existed until we were talking about it looking over and selecting snapshots of his life for his visitation, in Iowa, where the music died but the souls of their perished bodies live on to this day and endures.  Just for today, this is the snapshot I prefer to hold onto, much like in The Field of Dreams when Kevin Costner plays catch with his much younger dad and has the perspective and changed attitude to be grateful to see his father before life wore him down, before he had worn all of his shoes, and before any of the film of the snapshots were developed.  This image and one more, for me, just for today - which gets me to thinking.....which I often do.
 
When I made the decision to move here, I wasn't anticipating nor expecting spending more time in The Way Station again, at least for a while.  My time with my heart in Intensive Care, Landon's time in Neo-Natal Intensive Care had been enough and the thought of more did not bring with it many feelings of gratitude or serenity.  This Way Station of Bob's was different.  It was Hospice.  I've never experienced it before.  Amidst love, care, and concern of those who work there is an invisible cloak of certainty.  The only hope being not of survival, but of comfort. What special people that work in this particular Way Station. Although some who are admitted come and go, eventually all come back so they can go Home.  It's just the way it is.  So the Cancer Way Station is different.  It is one in which the snapshots of wonderful memories fade away rapidly as the ravages of a disease waste away what is visible.  I watched as did his wife and children a strong man of some 200 pounds become weak of body to one of 130 pounds in a very short time frame as he could no longer eat, or drink other than ice chips and only wanted a Pepsi which he never got.  His body was weak, but like the the music, his spirit was not and I choose to not focus on this snapshot but instead on one right before he entered the Way Station....he contracted pneumonia and was admitted to Mayo Clinic locally and his oxygen levels were critical and diagnosis bleak.  Basically he was not to make it through the weekend.  He did.  A cellist sat outside his room and played Amazing Grace it was really cool and he was aware.  I sensed but have no way of knowing for certainty,  perhaps he was seeing a Little LIght, or feeling it, just a feeling from one who has been there.  At this point he could stil talk and when he got a little better he was talking about the fact he had been watching Elvis singing in Vegas.  This of course was seen as hallucinating due to lack of oxygen "medically", but for me having been to the Light Beyond the Light and a look I saw in his eyes I'm not so sure.  I'm thinking not only did Bob hear "Blue Suede Shoes", I'm guessing he stomped all over em, probably took em, inserted some "Pink Shoe Laces" and Elvis is now has a White Sport Coat and Pink Shoe Laces and nobody really gives a damn in The Light amidst The Power anyway....they are all too busy jammin through Eternity in an Eternal Snapshot.  Oh yeah, Bob loved Country anyway, Boots fit him better....Happy Birthday Brother....See you soon!!....Turn the page for The Power of Surrender